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//16th April, 2004~2:53am\\ //Edit\\
mood | impatient

Ok, I've been giving questions to all the people on my list who have done this, so I guess I'll do it too.

I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. Then, I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything.

(I don't actually care if you copy it to your journal.)

Edit: I keep ending up with my Sam mood icons. I wonder if this means something.

17|speak friend and enter

//12th April, 2004~5:10am\\ //Edit\\
mood | somewhat accomplished

I finally drew something.

Base from here. Probably looks best on the comments page with the white background.

It was going to be Arwen but it turned into some generic girl. Even though it's "only" a doll I'm really glad I opened up PSP and actually did something. It took so long though because I forgot how to draw. :(

I also took webcam pictures of my dog.Collapse )

And I killed Orlando Bloom omg wtf.Collapse )
15|speak friend and enter

manga and the ongoing art saga //8th April, 2004~1:05pm\\ //Edit\\

I want more volumes of Confidential Confessions and Paradise Kiss. Argh, I'm annoyed at Parakiss. I bought the first volume months ago and two others were in the store, but I didn't get them because I wasn't sure if I'd like it. Ever since then I haven't seen them anywhere except online (and I don't feel like waiting or paying expensive shipping). CC covers "controversial issues" like sexual harassment and drug use and whatnot, and sometimes it kind of drags on, but it's interesting anyway. A nice change from my usual Hikaru no Go/Chobits manga. :0

I spend too much money. I'm going to be one of those people you see on the news, saying "one day I woke up and realized I was $20,000 in debt!!!" Here I am not having enough money to get into my preferred college, while people like Jennifer Lopez's mother are making $2 million on slot machines.

There's a guy named "Arogarn" in the game demo I've been playing. He's a ranger, and I met him in a tavern called the Dancing Seraphim, standing in the corner wearing a cloak. No comment.

I finally drew this today. 100% MOUSE DRAWN OMG. More later, I promise. My next post will be full of pictures.

4|speak friend and enter

//5th April, 2004~6:32pm\\ //Edit\\
mood | bitchy

I've noticed that 90% of people who keep saying how original or intelligent or whatever they are, are the ones who aren't any of those things. I think I'm pretty intelligent, but I don't feel the need to go on rants about WHY, and what makes me so "misunderstood" (like it's a good thing) like so many people seem to do. I just hate seeing so many idiots with confidence when some really likeable people hate themselves.

I'm going to draw something if it KILLS ME! Why can't I just put a pencil on a piece of paper or open up PSP for something other than icons?? The least I could do is draw LotR fanart. I'd think that would motivate me. I had a dream that people had to say "Smeagol" before ordering food at the mall, but Fiana said "economics" instead.

Hisashi and Jiro seem to look younger as time goes by. Am I the only one who thinks that? I keep seeing pictures posted to glay and being surprised at those two.

Why do people take each other for granted so often? You always hear about people treating their friends/loves like crap until it's over and then they feel so bad and wish they could change it all. And people who feel embarrassed saying "I love you" or showing emotions, and then someone dies and all the feelings come out. More people should say how much they appreciate others while they're alive and together, instead of waiting until they're gone and hoping they'll "hear" it or come back to you.

survey taken from elveneyesCollapse )

2|speak friend and enter

... //4th April, 2004~8:13am\\ //Edit\\
mood | shocked

My dog is very intently trying to eat my webcam. I was going to get a picture of it, but then I realized he was chewing on the thing I needed to take the picture with.

1|speak friend and enter

ineedmorelotricons //2nd April, 2004~2:42am\\ //Edit\\
mood | worried

A conclusion was come to tonight, between myself and a couple others, that Dom needs to host a kids' show called "King Dom's Kingdom." With puppets.

I tried to help Fiana think of an idea for her play (her original one was "two friends reminiscing about the past"), but I don't think we got very far...Collapse )

I feel so strange. Very insecure on top of being sick. Last night was the worst because I started crying and couldn't stop for awhile. It feels like I'm getting older but nowhere closer to what I really want, if I'm even sure what that is. To make some money I plan to get a job working with animals in some way, but I'll be going to college for (likely) game art/design, or I've also been considering fashion design...not much more time to decide. It's not easy to succeed in either of those industries. You have to have talent that really stands out, and the confidence to get anywhere. Ha, I should probably start making dolls again to practice design ideas and digital art at the same time. I have silly little romantic ideals too, but I'm sure nobody feels like laughing through all of that. :)

And...apparently I "look like Jillia from Suikoden 2."

4|speak friend and enter

//31st March, 2004~8:57pm\\ //Edit\\
mood | working

I finally made my own layout (for my entries page anyway, so far). I know it's not the greatest, but I like it. In 1152x864 (my resolution), it shows the whole picture but has a green space on the side, and in 1024x768 it fills the screen but cuts off the characters at the bottom. Kind of ruining the feeling of the picture, but whatever. :< It probably only works in IE (and Mozilla, except for the scrollbar). Yes.

Nothing else to say right now...layout making is frustrating.

4|speak friend and enter

just dab with vinegar //30th March, 2004~10:09pm\\ //Edit\\
mood | kind of sad

I actually remembered the details of my dream last night, for the first time in awhile!

the dreamCollapse )

I'm getting kind of depressed, like I always do when I look at pictures of friends together (don't feel bad about this, Fiana, it was fun to see them anyway). It's just bad to be cut off from all the people I remember, and while in a way I want to be totally separate from high school, I also miss a lot about it. Mainly having people to do things with, just hang around in random places and laugh and shout things in the dark. I don't know if I specifically miss old friends more, or the idea of having friends.

You know what I hate though? People who think it's cool to say they're a "loner" and pretty much brag that they have no friends (which is often not even true). I mean if you actually like being alone, which I do often, or can't find friends or whatever, then that's different. But why do people want to show off things that aren't even good? It's just....blarghjcdsfj;ngdhd.

(damn $200 Suikodens)

3|speak friend and enter

I'm allergic to Aragorn. //28th March, 2004~6:44pm\\ //Edit\\
mood | sick

So, I went to see RotK again today with Roger, and then out to dinner, and it was nice and rainy, and lovely. Rainy days make me feel so calm, especially after walking out of the theater and it's nice and subtle outside instead of going out into the bright sun like the last time.

I probably shouldn't have even gone out; I'm getting a cold, but some things are worth being sick through (this coming from someone who used to stay home from school for the slightest thing...I HAVE GOOD PRIORITIES!). Luckily I have mastered the Art of Sneezing Silently. Roger started counting the number of times I sneezed when Aragorn came on screen, and now we think there's a connection.

Don't see a three and a half hour epic movie when you have a cold.

I haven't drawn a single thing in WEEKS. I don't know why it happened, but it's really depressing to not have done any art. I get jealous every time someone talks about drawing now, because I don't know, I just don't have the will for it lately. It feels like I've given up on the one chance I had at talent. No dolls...or anything. My website is really neglected. :(

Games I currently want (anyone care to add recommendations?): Xenosaga, Harvest Moon, FF Crystal Chronicles, Tales of Destiny 2, Dynasty Warriors 4, PAL version of Suikoden, Mario Party 3...probably about a billion others I can't remember with this headache.

6|speak friend and enter

My hair is a nice shade of red-pink. //26th March, 2004~1:34pm\\ //Edit\\
mood | hungry

I feel so sorry for my dog lately. He's 10 years old, and up until now, he's stayed pretty active and acted like a puppy. Recently though, he has a hard time walking up stairs, and jumping up into the couches when he wants to sleep on them. He let me pick him up and put him on one, and normally he hates being picked up. Aww. I probably feel about my dog the way most people feel about their children, so anything going wrong terrifies me.

I was also watching a debate show (why? I hate debates) and it was an atheist vs. a Christian. The atheist made it clear he thought anyone had the right to hold their own beliefs, but he still had people calling in saying things like "if you don't believe in the basis of this country, go to Canada!!!1omg" As if "go to Canada" is the same as "go to hell," as if the basis of this country is Christianity and not freedom of religion. SPeaking of religion, why do I always find myself defending God's existence to people? I rarely believe in God, just the possibility.

I need a vacation from negativity. I'm going to see RotK again in a few days, and then I think I'll, um, walk over to Japan and see Glay live. :) Or Janne da Arc; I got their singles album and I've been listening to it constantly for days. JANNE DA ARC FK{JDFljksdfgmMdgij!! Yes.

Side note: Am I the ONLY person who gets paranoid about my wallpaper "watching" me? I can't be. I'm sorry, I'm just not ready to have Faramir watch me undress (the other way around is fine, though). I really am sane. Really.

8|speak friend and enter

Peregrin Took, Guard of the Citadel //21st March, 2004~8:46am\\ //Edit\\
mood | indescribable

Ok, hi.

The loss of my LotR movie virginity: some spoilers withinCollapse )

Tomorrow I'm hopefully going back to Fiana's school with her and staying for a week. I've been depressed and sick and lacking sleep lately, so that would be nice.

Watching the LotR trilogy was the high point of the last few days, considering it was amazing and the rest of the week was filled with doctor appointments and arguments with people. In fact, I've likely made someone not want to speak to me anymore. I don't know how to handle that except by hoping something will change, which never happens. It confuses me to have a friendship that could be so much better, but always seems to go the worst way.

But I'm not going to whine about that right now, I'm going to make lots of Legolas icons and eat pancakes instead.

11|speak friend and enter

//20th March, 2004~4:46pm\\ //Edit\\
mood | "......."

...Oh my god, Return of the King was amazing.

More later when I can actually put thoughts together.

2|speak friend and enter

//17th March, 2004~12:21am\\ //Edit\\
mood | Hisashi

How can you tell if you are actually ugly, or if it's a "delusion" of your mind or just a self-esteem issue? If I were to survey 100 people and 99 of them said I was ugly, would certain others stop telling me "omfg u r not ugly u just think that"? Are there people who would be considered ugly by the majority of people in the world? What about the beautiful ones? Who exactly sets all of these standards and why are they even considered "standards" in the first place, when it's such a matter of opinion?

All of this came into my mind when I was dicussing with someone how a lot of people think Dom Monaghan (LotR actor) is ugly, despite all the fangirls he has. Awhile ago I probably would have agreed, but somehow through the magic of personality, I don't think that anymore. I actually find him rather cute. So don't fear, even if you feel ugly, some random dork like me may someday be your fangirl.

I still can't figure out the mystery of why Dark Cloud 2 is called that in the US version, but Dark Chronicle elsewhere.

3|speak friend and enter

I have an Elton John song stuck in my head for some reason //15th March, 2004~8:39am\\ //Edit\\
mood | average

While commenting on a friend's entry on UJ, I started to think about the whole conspiracy of Loved Ones Who Don't Notice Enough When You're Really Upset Over Something And They Act All Happily Oblivious (LOWDNEWYRUOSATAAHO).

My dog is so CUTE, he lies down on the couch and starts licking it, and whenever I say something to him, he freezes and stares at me looking really offended. For like, five minutes.

Anyway, I really hate when that happens. It especially seems to happen with boyfriends, or peoplewhoitseemslikeshouldbeyourboyfriendbutaren't. It also goes along with people who end arguments before they're really over. Like when you're making a good point, and they say "oh sigh, I just hate arguing." But the worst is when you're crying your eyes out and they're like "THIS NEW GAME I GOT IS COOL I'M AT LEVEL 3 NOW!!!!111" or "oooh, look at the pretty picture." Usually that only happens when talking online, but when you try to hide your crying so as not to be annoying, it happens in person too.

Online it can be better though, because if they ask if you're ok, you can go like "No, you just ruined my life Yep! :D" That is only IF THEY EVEN BOTHER ASKING, THOUGH. Is it too much to ask that they act with some empathy once in awhile?

Things I want to do
- Own a SegaCD
- Save a bunch of dogs from a shelter (god, they're breaking my heart...even when I see a little ad for someone offering their dog, it makes me cry)
- Get a part-time job working with animals
- Have sex with someone I'll probably never have that opportunity with, bah
- Get my dad to stop saying "hey, that sounds like you!" whenever a woman murders her father or says she wants him dead, on tv. YEAH HA HA I'M GLAD YOU THINK I'M A MURDEROUS PSYCHO WHO HATES YOU.

4|speak friend and enter

...well that was random. //13th March, 2004~11:34pm\\ //Edit\\
mood | ?_?

Dear anonymous person who text messaged me through my LJ profile asking me for sex and claiming you look like Jude Law,

No. (pics plz)



Dear love,

Why do you keep making me so sad?


speak friend and enter